10 Ways You Sabotage Your Success • The Success Alliance
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10 Ways You Sabotage Your Success

10 Ways to Sabotage Your Success

By Karyn Greenstreet

Humans are nutty sometimes.

We SAY we want to achieve a goal or finish a project, then BAM! We sabotage ourselves.

Let’s figure out why your clients aren’t getting the success they say they want.

Today’s blog post is all about the 10 mental Saboteurs – the ten ways our self-talk and behavior kill our success, as outlined by Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence.

Here’s a quick overview of each Saboteur. Use this with your clients and mastermind group members. It will shift the stuck places and get them moving forward faster. (Hey, take a look at these for your own ah-ha moments! Maybe you’re holding yourself back??)

A quick reminder: Mastermind Group Facilitator Training begins August 3. Learn the art of empowering your members and facilitating your groups successfully! Click here to learn more about this class.

Note: No one is one-sided. You could have a sprinkling of several of these Saboteur behaviors. Perhaps these Saboteurs only rear their ugly heads when you’re in a highly stressful situation? Profiles like DISC, Kolbe, and Myers-Briggs encourages us to see ourselves in a 360-degree view.

The 10 Saboteurs

Chamine discusses each of these Saboteurs, where your focus is, what thoughts are going through your head, and how this can lead to feelings that block forward motion and success (and ultimately, happiness and fulfillment).

When you’re aware of these self-sabotaging behavior patterns, you can work with your clients and members to turn them around.

Do you recognize your clients in any of these behaviors? (Or in yourself? I sure can!)

  1. Avoider – avoids difficult thoughts, feelings, people, situations, and tasks. Only focuses on the positive.
  2. Controller – always needs to be in control of the situation. Controls their own and other people’s actions.
  3. Hyper-Achiever – uses constant action, performance, and achievement for self-validation. This is the person whose calendar is always full. They need to be the best at what they do and to feel they’re producing results.
  4. Hyper-Rational – focuses on thinking their way through life, and has a very active mind. Intellectualizes everything, including feelings and relationships.
  5. Hyper-Vigilant – anxious about the dangers in the world and how things could (might) go wrong. Worried about making a mistake.
  6. Judge – finds fault and criticizes themselves and others often. Focuses on what’s wrong and blames themselves for past mistakes.
  7. Pleaser – wants acceptance and uses techniques like flattery, helping (and it’s cousin, rescuing) to gain affection and attention. Puts the needs of others over their own needs.
  8. Restless – always looking for the next adventure or the newest thing. Constantly busy and easily distracted by shiny objects. Always juggling ideas, plans, calendars, but often doesn’t complete what they begin.
  9. Stickler – seeks perfection and order. Wants to do things “right.”
  10. Victim – highly emotional and uses drama to get attention and affection. Focuses on their negative feelings and experiences. Seems to have more difficulties than the average person — and tells everyone about them as a way of getting sympathy and attention.

Here’s the interesting thing about these Saboteurs

Yes, Saboteur behavior can be your downfall. But in small doses, these Saboteurs can be helpful in some situations. For instance, the Controller is the leader. Most groups of people desire someone who can make strong decisions and lead the way.

Taken to the extreme, if the Controller can’t balance their need to manage every situation, task and person involved, it easily becomes a negative environment where no one thrives.

Take the self-assessment and learn about your Saboteurs

You can do a cool self-assessment on Chamine’s website, and get further details about the 10 Saboteurs here:

https://www.positiveintelligence.com/assessments/

 

And take heart – there’s a calm, optimistic Sage within who can help overcome these self-sabotaging behaviors and have you performing at your peak potential!

Mastermind Group Success Starts Here


2 thoughts on “10 Ways You Sabotage Your Success”

  1. Brenda says:

    Research indicates self compassion balances the negative effect of the our own sabotaging behavior and thoughts. To mention two people who have done research on this area are Kristin Nuff and Brene’ Brown.

    I appreciate the article as you highlight the roadblock to vetting secession in life. Thank you

    1. Karyn Greenstreet says:

      If we can be kind to ourselves, Brenda, it goes a long way to finding happiness and motivation. I like what Chamine says in his YouTube video (TEDx talk) — that instead of saying, “Oh, I’ll never get this right! I’m all wrong!” says “Oh, look: my Saboteur is saying I’m all wrong, isn’t that interesting?”

      When we take a step back from our self-talk and realize our Saboteur is doing a lot of the talking, it creates a sense of release. When we *notice* it without taking it to heart, it helps.

      P.S. I love Brene Brown’s work, as well as everyone who says, “You ARE enough! You ARE worthy!” 🙂

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